The power of saying no: Lessons from the yoga mat
- Nicole Allen
- Jul 13
- 3 min read
In a world that glorifies the hustle, celebrates busyness, and often mistakes overextending for kindness, learning to say no can feel difficult. But on the yoga mat, ‘no’ isn’t rejection. It’s redirection. It’s an act of self-respect, discipline, and even love.
Over the years, my practice has become less about how deeply I can fold or how long I can hold a pose, and more about how honestly I can meet myself in each moment. Yoga isn’t confined to the four corners of the mat. It’s a way of being. And one of its most empowering lessons?
The ability to say no.
The 8 Limbs of Yoga, outlined in the ancient text The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, offer a framework for living with more awareness, balance, and connection. While many people associate yoga only with physical poses, this philosophy goes far beyond the mat.
For this post, I’m drawing on a few limbs that directly support the art of boundary-setting, offering guidance on how, when, and why to say no with clarity and care.
Ahimsa (non-violence): Saying no to self-betrayal
Ahimsa teaches us not to cause harm, not just to others, but to ourselves. Every time we override our boundaries to please someone else, we chip away at our own peace. Saying no, kindly and clearly, is a way to honour our energy, protect our wellbeing, and choose peace over people-pleasing.
Satya (truthfulness): Saying yes to what’s real
Saying no often means telling the truth:
“I don’t have the capacity for this right now.”
“That doesn’t feel aligned.”
“I need rest.”
Satya calls us to be honest, in thought, word, and deed. It asks us to live in integrity. And sometimes, that means disappointing others in order to stay loyal to ourselves.
Brahmacharya (right use of energy): Discernment as a form of discipline
In today’s world, where our attention is constantly pulled in a thousand directions, where we choose to place our energy matters. Brahmacharya isn’t about strict abstinence; it’s about consciously choosing where your energy flows. Saying no to distractions, draining relationships, or unrealistic expectations is an act of deep self-discipline. You’re preserving your prana, your life force, for the things that truly nourish you.
Aparigraha (non-attachment): Letting go of the fear of disappointing others
Aparigraha invites us to loosen our grip on possessions, outcomes, identities, and yes, even approval. Many of us say yes out of fear: fear of being disliked, misunderstood, or seen as ‘difficult.’ But when we practice non-attachment, we learn to let go of the need to control how others perceive us. Saying no becomes an act of trust. Trust that we can handle discomfort. That our worth isn’t tied to how agreeable we are.
Saying no doesn’t need to be sharp-edged or defensive. It can be rooted in love.
Love for your time.Love for your energy.Love for the person you're becoming.
It’s not about shutting doors, but about choosing which ones to walk through with intention. When you honour your limits, your commitments, and your rest, you reclaim your power.
Ready to take this deeper?
I’m so excited to announce the launch of The Yogic Toolbox, a brand-new, three-part workshop series at The Sussex Shala designed to help you explore the roots of yoga, refine your movement, and build a practice that supports you beyond the class setting.
Whether you join one or all three, you’ll come away with tools, insight, and confidence to take your yoga to the next level, in a way that’s true to you.
Sunday 7th September | 2-5pm
Sunday 5th October | 2-5pm
Sunday 2nd November | 2-5pm
If you attend all three sessions, you’ll receive a free Breathe With Ease tote bag and a little gift to say thank you!
I hope to see you there.
Nicole
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